Or it could have been some other tree-climbing squirrel-sized furry thing. It scurried away quickly and there were a lot of branches in the way. I was climbing the hill that’s in the middle of Sansia. The view at the summit was nice. You could see all of Taipei off in the distance, and 101 is quite the landmark.
But I didn’t really spend much time looking in that direction, because I couldn’t take my eyes away from the larger inland hills. There was a cloud over them that was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I wrote down this description, which doesn’t do it justice but was the closest I could get:
“A single huge cloud loomed ahead, cresting the distant hilltops in one endless white wave. It seemed to be an enormous waterfall, frozen in time or outside of it. It waited there, silent and expectant, while the city hummed beneath. And then, finally, as the valley was bathed in the light of the setting sun, the cloud all at once sprang into color and motion. It blazed red-gold and surged with terrible life. In the fury of its sudden splendor the whole sky appeared as a burst dam, out of which was roaring this molten river from beyond the world. The flood crashed upon the hillsides with soundless violence. It poured on, implacable and inescapable, washing the earth clean in a torrent of fire.”
“Thus to love the good in which the blessed participate in order to acquire or possess it does not make man well disposed towards it, for the evil envy this good also; but to love it in itself, in order that it be conserved and spread, and so that nothing be done against it, this is what makes man well disposed to this society of the blessed; and this is what charity consists of, to love God for himself, and the neighbor who is capable of beatitude as oneself.”
Water. Like still water. So very still.
Lying nestled in a mountain cradle,
and growing warm beneath the noonday sun,
so safe behind a wall of softest stone,
with only slightest waves from slighter winds.
Comfortable.
Could stay like this a thousand years or more.
Quite comfortable.
Eternity seems not much time at all.
Could spend it all on this without great loss.
Hah.
Such are the words that warmth and safety tell,
but no dammed lake is ever really still.
Each age-long moment every countless drop
pounds against the bars that never stop
being chains no matter how… comfortable.
No water can find rest above the sea.
I know this in my bones and in my soul.
I feel a pull that comes like gravity
and yearn to make the easiest choice of all:
implore this wall of carrion comforts be
dashed in pieces, like a potter’s vessel.
My favorite Disney song, not even close: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHrRxQVUFN4
Can’t sleep. Listened to it about 20 times in a row now. Can’t help but think of St. John Chrysostom’s commentary on the parable of the ten virgins: “You see then how great merchants the poor are to us; but the poor are not there, but here, and therefore we must store up oil here, that we may have it to use there when occasion shall require.”
Towards the end of the movie, when the father stops at the vacant spot on the steps where the bird woman had been during the day, the look on his face reveals that at last he truly feels the terrible urgency of that mystery. Maybe if I listen to the song a dozen more times, I will too…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rbGgcGaI6c
As of this posting, 58 people supported the statement: “I wants (sic) to live like Clooney does in this movie.”
Um… really now?
Were these people being “ironic”, or did they actually sit through the entire movie and completely miss the point?
My family is all here and I feel very, very lonely. This never used to happen. Now that everyone from home is with me again, I’m homesick for the first time since arriving. I feel rather guilty about that.
Let’s do a quick depression check.
Q: What would make me happy right now?
A: Hmm… my stomach is feeling rather queasy so I’m not in the mood for chocolate. Pity. Talking to friends would be pleasant, but alas nobody appears to be online at the moment. Stupid 13 hour time zone differences. Plus, I’d just whine about how crappy I’m feeling, and it’s doubtful that such a conversation would leave me happy once I’ve said “ttyl.” So I’m tempted to say that nothing would really change my feelings, and yet I can’t shake the urgent wish that I would just sneak out and go down to the river RIGHT NOW, wade into it until the water is at my waist, and then walk and walk until finally I reach the starlit sea, clean.
…eh, I don’t know what to make of it, but it’s certainly a change from when my recurring wish was that I would be hit by a bus. I’ll hold off on the Lexapro for now.
Time for sleep and strange dreams.
